Fire starter.

I had this whole post idea about my favorite foods. I go through phases where I eat a lot of one food. The entire month of July it was popcorn, I’m pretty sure I ate my weight in the stuff. Then it was Cheddar. For the last two weeks it has been Carmel. Lots and Lots of Carmel.

However, I doubt I’ll be eating more of that anytime soon.

Here’s the thing,┬áif something is going to go wrong. It’s going to go wrong while my husband is deployed. As this is not the first time my husband has been deployed, underway or what-not. I know for a fact this is true. And, I won’t sugar coat this either. I’m accident prone, very much so. I had a surgery that million’s of people have had and guess what? I’m the one in a million that woke up and couldn’t move a quarter of my body. Weird stuff just happens to me. I can’t explain it.

Going about my normal baking business today, I made Carmel Apple Sticky Buns. All was going well until I baked them. Well, everything went okay through that, though the Carmel seeped over the side. No biggie. Well…kind of no biggie, there was a puddle of carmel covering the bottom of the oven, so it did a little more than just seep…it poured over the sides of the pans.

Okay. Okay. It’s just a little carmel.

A little carmel with Apple Brandy in it.

Yes. Apple. Brandy.

WOOOSH. FLAMES. While I realized there were flames and immediately turned the oven off, my kid (the older one) started screaming, “BIG FLAMES! BIG FIRE! LOOK! UH OH UH OH” at the top of her lungs (she sounds like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman). Uh oh is right. Anyone care to guess whether or not I have a fire extinguisher?

That’s a big, HUGE…no.

I’m a military spouse with not one, but TWO power of Attorney’s. A will. An escape plan. Sirens outside my house that alert of pending Tsunami’s. I drive one of the safest cars. Yet, I don’t have a fire extinguisher. So, in a nutshell, I’m totally unprepared (unless it snows…I have a snow scraper, some snow pants, hat and mittens and I’m pretty good at driving in the snow).

So while I’m shaking, watching the flames in my oven (I had already taken the sticky buns out), trying to figure out what to do. The flames went out on their own and there is smoke….EVERYWHERE. Here’s another shocker. My fire alarms don’t work. We’re obviously living in a very safe house *sarcasm*. No fire extinguisher and non-functioning fire alarms, that I just hit the test button last week and they work. Once the smoke cleared….then they went off. Well that really saved us. I’m guessing if there is ever a house fire it’s going to get VERY smoky, I probably want my fire alarms to work. Calling Forest City…Attention Forest City…you’re going to have to come to my house, again.

After the mayhem is over. I email my husband, “I started a fire in the kitchen.” I think he’s on radio silence. Either that or he’s not surprised and laughing himself silly. Har har har. There ya go, DCA…your wife started a fire. How ya like them apples? Tomorrow’s headline in local Navy news is going to be “DCA’s wife starts fire and is left without a fire extinguisher”.

And, if you’re worrying about the sticky buns, they made it out safe, minus their carmel. And they are “nummy nummy”, says B. The recipe makes A ton. If you’re having a brunch with 40 people, this is your kind of dish. I will have to go around begging some neighbors to take some buns off my hands.

Batch 1

Batch 2 (which had a tiny bit of carmel left)

Up close…

So we’ve learned some lessons today. 1. I need to use my brain. 2. I need a fire extinguisher. Everything & everyone is okay, well…other than me. I have to clean my oven by hand…ack.

And now…my Central Air unit is leaking water…everywhere. Like I said, if it’s going to happen….

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